Cameron

I was browsing through all my old photos and I came across this one haha . My dad knew this guy who worked for Bank Negara lah . And the staff there has acess to this bungalow overlooking this valley thing at Cameron . Only the staff can use it . The bungalow I mean . And oh thank god my dad knew this guy . We went with Shaun they all , that guy and a few of his friends . And seriously man , it was sooo beautiful . We stayed at that spot for like 3 to 4 days I think ? Mahjong , guitar , packeted milo , maggi cup , tv , and nothing else but talking to each other and loving the air . It was soo beautiful seriously :) . I miss that place . So nostalgic , note the nostalgic feel of the picture lol . I fell down after that haha .

My god I miss my long hair :D .

Poking .

Everyone on Facebook is Poking each other .








Poke , Poke , Poke , Poke , Poke .





I love Joshua Lian =)

And Russell Woo of course =D .

Lucas .

New blog . Everyone go take a look at it . Pft .

www.13haima.blogspot.com

=/ .

Life .

Have you ever heard it? The eerie ring of a magnificent golden bell high in the clouds. The sound accompanied by a siren's cry, the sound accompanied by the whistle of winds. Don't you hear it? It rings all the time. Angels who live in the sky ring the huge golden bell, and its surreal echoes travel along the clouds and into the mortal world. They ring it with purpose and reason, with hope. That one day, a fire will rekindle in the hearts of mortals as before. That one day, mortals will no longer be afraid to live. I hear it all the time. Because I'm not afraid to live. Are you? Even if you deny it, and you don't hear the golden bell's eerie tunes, then you are afraid. But its okay to be afraid, for you are afraid merely subconciously and conciously, you would want not to be afraid any more. The bell will help. I will help. Has mortals forgot how to appreciate the things in life that don't matter? There are some who reside in this world, at this very moment, who appreciate living. Because? Because thier half dead. How much will it take to get someone to appreciate life? The simplest things? How much will it take to get someone to appreciate taking a walk down the street? Feeling the things you touch. Seeing the things you feel. Hearing the sounds you love. There are some in this world, who appreciate everything. And they are the real humans. For being able to appreciate everything, is a humane feature. Then what have we become?What have I become?More than human? Or less? Or not human at all? Consequence comes with reason, as with appreciation and fear. The life that we don't appreciate and fear, will be our undoing. Our unwinding, degrowth, devolution unweaving of time's thread, our degeneration. Then what are we waiting for? Such was the question that I have came to ask myself , after the thinking. The opening of window. Windows to my soul. So I didn't wait anymore. Will you wait longer? Time and tide waits for no one. Tis' like a long distance runner, never waiting for those who fall behind, but never catching up to those who pass it. I have chosen not to be afraid to live. I have heard the music of the heavens, the angel's bell. But have you?Perhaps in this lifetime, you'll never get to hear it at all. Maybe you'll never ever get to hear it in your entire existance. But with effort, succession is nearly certain. But not the kind of effort that you might precieve. To break the glamour, the black blanket that envolopes the eye, to destroy the fear. One has to believe.Believe in living. Those who don't, are doomed to live on the hellish world of today. Where conflict is a constant din in your mind, grief is a mosquito by your ear, and life is the GrimReaper in your face. I believe in living. When will you believe? I'm waiting for you. But time never does. It seems to speed up as you age. Why? Because it is running out. Atropos awaits to cut your thread. When will you start? How long will you wait? When will you believe?There. I heard it again. The bell ringing. And with it, every sound on earth, every happy sound, reaches my ears. The sound of children lauging, of the wind whistling, water gently lapping down with a silveryness with that of the metal, the sound of birds chirping, squirrels squeaking, the sound of the angel's laughing. The music of heaven. The symphony of life. I'm not afraid to live anymore?Are you?

Chapter 1 – Freak

Shaun ran with renewed energy towards the school assembly hall as he heard the bell ringing. He was late. But he could still make it if he ran with his life. And running with he life was what he apparently, was good at. 5 days in this hectic city school filled with bullies taught him that. Every Monday the school would have its assembly where all the students gathered in the assembly hall and the principal made the weeks speech. Usually it was boring stuff. He adjusted his sling bag that slung over his shoulder and pulled his brown hoodie on, his white Nike’s padding on the tiled floors as silently but as quickly as he could.

No one really liked Shaun in this new school. They felt that there was something somewhat different around him. And different was feared, feared was hated. He hailed from the western countryside, a quiet mountain in which he learned what made him what he is today. He went to kindy on this part of the world. For 6 years he studied language, mathematics and sciences, but that time period would soon have to come to an end. His school was one of the little few where he could transfer directly from kindy when he was 12 to secondary schooling for 4 years until he was 16 then he would graduate. But after 3 years of secondary schooling, there was a fire and his school burned to ashes. He had to move to a new school, his parents beckoned him to come here. To the city and enter Shady High. Bullies, smokers and drug addicts were everywhere; he preferred his quiet life of solitude back in his old school. He regretted what he had done. It was bad. He was 15 now. 1 more year and he’d graduate. He’d just have to live through this 1 year and then he was free like a bird to return to his hilltop home with his parents. But also, return to his regret.

He rubbed his nose. The hall was near; he could smell the sweat and the morning breath of the hundreds of people inside. He pulled open the giant entrance doors and shuffled in with the other latecomers. After giving a rather crappy excuse to the Mrs.Southwood the gym teacher, he sat at a lonely corner of the hall and listened to the hypnotizing droning of the principle, Professor Dosu.

He looked around. Back at home; school didn’t have rules like this. You didn’t have to conceal your Guardian. It was completely and utterly stupid. Everyone had their Guardian either on their shoulder or around their neck, on their head or in their lap. It was unrealistic. It would be a torture if you asked anyone out of town. Everyone thinks that he doesn’t have a Guardian because he didn’t have one limply hanging from his head or on his shoulder; they think he doesn’t have a Guardian because they can’t see, hear, smell, touch or taste it. He can make his Guardian ethereal. His old school teachers were so amazed that he could do that, it was a really high level Guardian concealment technique and a lot of adults still can’t master it. The easiest Guardian concealment technique is of course the downsizing. Shaun couldn’t get why others couldn’t do it. He could make his Guardian ethereal easy. It was so simple.

His ears pricked up suddenly when he heard Professor Dosu say ‘We have a new student today, his name is Lucas,’

A boy in a jet-black jumper and baggy jeans stepped gingerly on the stage and stood beside Professor Dosu and his podium. Professor Dosu began introducing him to everyone in the hall. There was something about him that made Shaun immediately dislike him. He knows what it feels like to move into a new school but despite that, something about him made Shaun dislike him immensely. Hate was the word, not dislike. He shook the thought away and concentrated on what was Professor Dosu saying.

‘He comes from the eastern countryside, remote and a private sanctuary. He is sixteen and will be doing his last year here, he has no Guardian,’ Professor Dosu paused and let everything set in.

There were gasps all around the hall, then hundreds of whispers flooded into everyone’s ears.

‘Geez, another freak,’ said a girl a few feet away from Shaun. He felt like saying something aloud too but he was afraid it would backfire and everyone would call him a freak also, so he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t know why everyone hated him, but he could understand why people hated other people without Guardians. It was sort of like racism, only it was more prominent in the world. People with Guardians and people without Guardians rarely got along. That made Shaun hate him all the more. What was his name again? Lucas. Shaun snorted. Stupid name.

Professor Dosu continued after the momentary pause. ‘He is also the last descendant of the Reaper Heritage,’ He paused again.

More gasps. This time, the gasps came from most of the teachers and nerdy people in glasses. The rest of them just look around with a ‘so-what’ on their faces. Shaun shook his head; he needed to ask his Lore teacher about it later. He didn’t have a Heritage, his mountain life denied him the curse of ever having one, but he didn’t want to have one anyway, it’s just troublesome with family feuds and backstabbing. But evidently according to the teacher’s reactions, the Reaper Heritage was well known. There was one thing in common between Shaun and Lucas though; they were both from the countryside. Shaun didn’t like having common things with a freak. It’ll make him look more like a freak himself.

Professor Dosu droned on a little longer as Lucas left the stage and that was that. Everyone packed up and left for their classes. Shaun had Lore for the first two periods. He hoped to the gods that Lucas wouldn’t be in his class, but sure enough, luck had a thing against Shaun. Lucas appeared with his long sleeves and mysterious ego carrying a black bag. He sat at the very back of the class in a lonely corner on the left. Shaun was sitting directly opposite, directly at the back of the class in a lonely corner on the right.

‘Ugh, dammit,’ Shaun thought.

Another thing-in-common to add to the thing-in-common-with-freak list.
His Lore teacher, Mr.Balewind came striding in.

‘Great,’ Shaun thought, ‘Now I can’t ask him what is this Reaper Heritage thing,’

‘Good morning students,’ He chimed merrily while setting his books down on the table. His Guardian, downsized of course was perching itself on his right shoulder. Shaun has been trying to guess what it is for days now and what he got was a crab with two extra claws, tons of extra legs and human-like eyes. Mr.Balewind was more young and friendly compared to most of the other teachers, which made Shaun like him a lot. Shaun could sense he particularly interested in him but he couldn’t tell why. Was it because he was different? He waved the question away and concentrated on the class.

‘Ah!’ the young man exclaimed. ‘Looks like I’m lucky to have the schools newest student sitting in my class!’ Mr.Balewind beamed. ‘Please Lucas, introduce yourself,’

There were a few demoralizing sighs and girls rolling their eyes as Lucas stood up shakily. He pulled down his hood but it didn’t help much, his black hair covered almost the whole of his eyes and it flapped down towards the sides and covers his ears.

‘Em… I’m Lucas, and em… I like mudcrafting?’ he stuttered.

The class laughed hysterically. ‘Mudcrafting’s for kindies freak!’ A girl shouted aloud.

Mr.Balewind slammed on the table and it silenced everyone for a while. He continued in his merry voice, but after a few days you could tell when it was going to get dangerous. He may be happy and cheery all the time but he had a venomous anger. ‘Sarah that’s enough,’

Sarah stifled a giggle and nodded, trying to hide her smile. Lucas sat down awkwardly. Shaun almost laughed too. Mudcrafting is for kindies. How could this guy like them? He was supposed to be through with that dumb exam years ago.

‘Now as we all know,’ Mr.Balewind said, ‘Mudcrafting is an exam in kindy to test one’s energy levels and to focus magic on one point to create a mud statue, we’re all done with that years ago haven’t we?’ he smiled.

Everyone giggled and nodded.

‘Now, lets start with class. Sarah, you’ll have to answer my first question,’ He laughed. Sarah slapped her forehead. She spun around and looked at Lucas. ‘See? Its your fault freak,’





Lucas listened carefully to the Lore lesson. He looked around the class. The boy sitting directly opposite him was annoying him, the boy sitting on the backmost corner on the right. He looked 15. Even though he was this new he already started hating this kid. But the thing was, the kid had no Guardian. Like himself. He concentrated on Mr.Balewind up ahead. Lore.

Looking closely, he realized he already covered this chapter last year. He was beginning to ask why was he, a 16 year old is learning 15 year old stuff when he remembered that at the orientation before he started schooling here, his mum told him that the syllabus here was different. 13 and 14 year olds were placed in the same class and 15 and 16 year olds were placed in the same class as well, the Lore teachers alternated their topics to fit both the knowledge of 15 year olds and 16 year olds into one class.

He stared around class. Besides him having no Guardian, that kid on the opposite side didn’t have one; a small kid in front didn’t have one, two girls sitting together didn’t have one, another guy in front didn’t have one. So altogether, it seemed like 6 people in his class didn’t have a Guardian. Four guys and two girls didn’t seem to have a Guardian.

‘I’m learning this all over again,’ He thought as he stared at the black board. That Sarah girl was 15-ish sitting somewhere in the front and directly beside her is that small boy without a Guardian. His body is crumpled and focused on a single point on his table, which is a colorful storybook. He didn’t seem to be listening to the lesson at all. Lucas looked closely again, how could he be 15? He looked 11-ish. He pushed that thought away as the boy suddenly turned around and stared at him. He pretended to look at something else then crumpled on his desk to get a catnap. Ignoring the strangeness of the boy’s eyes. ‘How did he know I was looking at him anyway?’ He thought. This place seemed to be full of nervous tensions and rivalries, pressures and worries. He rather go back to his old school beside the tranquil lake that he resided in. He didn’t have parents, his teachers told him that they left a long time ago, he had no brothers and no sisters, no uncles or aunties, which was kind of strange to him, no Guardian as well. Which made it all the more worse. But his teachers were kind and invited him to join their Heritage and become part of their family, so he did and he learnt their ways. His teachers told him that his Guardian died in a freak boat accident. Even so, he wanted to stay with his teachers in his school until at least he finished his education and graduated, but the lake had to overflow and the school had to be damaged. It just pisses him off. Now his teachers send him to this city school with spoilt brats hanging around at every nook and cranny. The thought slowly drifted away as he fell asleep on his desk.

He awoke to a light tapping on his head. A soft voice said ‘Wake up freak, OA classes now, get changed,’

He stirred himself awake and saw Sarah walking away in the distance. She had a body-hugging sweater and a pair of shorts on. Yum.

‘OA classes!’ Shaun exclaimed, which got him a few stares so he decided to think his thoughts instead of saying them out loud. ‘OA classes!’ he thought. ‘Time to see what this freak Lucas is made of,’

‘Outdoor Activities eh,’ Lucas thought as he looked a the timetable. He pulled out a pair of three-quarters and a long-sleeved shirt from his bag and headed to the changing room. He also pocketed the Stylus. Just in case.

Shaun jogged around for a bit then stretched. OA classes were his favourite here at this retard school. Mrs.Southwood was in charge of their class, so it made it all the more challenging. After this class was lunch break then Recap classes before going home. Everyone hates recap. It was January and for the first three months of school it’ll be flowers springing up everywhere and playing outside. But this is not the countryside. Shaun would’ve done that in the countryside but this is the city. Cities are boring.

Shaun was wearing a short-sleeved green shirt and matching track shorts. Then, Lucas emerged and strode calmly onto the field. He bent down and tied the shoelaces on his Converses before standing up and resuming his calm walk. It annoyed Shaun to hell. Who the hell does this guy think he is? New here without a Guardian and he’s walking like he owns the place? OA classes will severely lower his confidence then.

Mrs.Southwood walked out on the field in the same red tracks she always wear during OA classes. ‘Okay boys and girls, today we’ve got a solid two hours for OA so I’m going to work you until you bleed in a dozen places,’

She snorted. ‘Soccer, girls go play the other field, guys play on this one, make your teams, 11 on each side. Remember, the soccer rules apply, but no fouls will be given for tackling players, no serious injuries and no death. Here’s the ball girls,’ She threw the ball like it was a bomb to the girls and it hit one of them in the face. ‘Here you go ladies,’ She said as she threw another one into a guys face but he managed to catch it with much luck. ‘Now play nice,’ she grinned.

Lucas blinked. She was talking so fast he missed every single thing. He blinked again and looked around. The girls were moving toward the other field. The guys were busy talking and sorting out the teams. The annoying 15 year old stood on the other side of the group of boys in front of him tying his shoelaces; he suddenly had the urge to punch his face. He shook the feeling away. Suddenly, everyone’s Guardian upsized again. The concealment techniques were dispelled as their Guardians grew in size and length into their original proportions. Lucas was kind of stunned. He hasn’t seen so much Guardians gathered at one place before. A floating snake-like thing, tadpoles with four legs, a lizard with two heads, there were so much of them. They were all dog sized and growling, snorting, hissing at each other. He looked around for that boy in the green shirt and shorts. He didn’t have a Guardian out.



Lucas looked for the strange boy, the one who stared at him in class. There was no sign of him. He looked at Mrs.Southwood who had her squirrel-like Guardian curled around her neck and at the girl’s soccer field, they too had their Guardians out and they were making teams.

But what was this about? He had seen soccer; they were played with feet with their Guardians concealed. He played it with the other students back at the old school before. They had fouls with yellow and red cards and injured players usually didn’t end in death, what was Mrs.Southwood talking about anyway?

‘Hey freak,’ someone sneered.

Lucas looked at him. It was the boy dressed in green. He let his hand out.

‘Name’s Shaun, pleased to meet you,’

Lucas stared at it for a moment, then decided otherwise. He ended up saying ‘I don’t shake filthy hands,’

Shaun cursed to himself and took his hand back. ‘Looks like you’re on the other team freak. I’ll watch out for you on the field,’

Shaun spat on the floor next to Lucas and walked off to join his team. Lucas walked off the other side to join his team as well, not really knowing what to do. How could he have not heard what Mrs.Southwood said? She was right in front of him!

Shaun was in the same soccer team he was in since his first OA class 5 days ago, he’s getting used to what he was supposed to do, it was the only time of the day when people didn’t stare at him strangely or call him a freak, he was good at this game. He already know most of his teammates and what they can do by now. But they don’t know him yet. They think he doesn’t have a Guardian, that he’s just good with his feet. But they don’t know. Maybe today he’ll show them all. Since that freak Lucas is here. But if he does, the consequences could be devastating. He could again lose control of himself and do something terrible. Shaun still wondered how come he hated that guy so much. He got up and followed his team to the end of the field.

Lucas shook his head. The team leader already went through the plan with him the third time and he still couldn’t get it.

‘Em, can you explain it again?’

‘Ugh, shut up freak, just shut up,’ the big guy said and stormed off with everyone else. Lucas had a few tricks up his sleeve if they were just playing soccer but he wasn’t sure what they were supposed to do and why were their Guardians all out and unconcealed. But when the game started. He understood.

This is no ordinary soccer.

Mrs.Southwood blew the whistle and the two people in the middle of the field battled for the ball.

With their fists.

Their Guardians were tearing each other up. Lucas was so absorbed at those two beating each other up that he didn’t realize Shaun sprinting all the way from his midfield spot. When he finally took notice, Shaun already jumped up and aimed his fist at Lucas’ head.

Uh-oh.

51days .

Time is passing so so fast . And yet , It dosent feel that way . It feels , like you sorta been here since forever .

I'm having a bloggers block now haha . If thats even possible . I find , that I only put stuff in my blog when i'm not really in a good mood . Or when I'm sad , or angry . But .

I dont really blog anymore . Now that I realized .

I'm so . Happy . Come to think of it . Extremely happy . All the time . Cause mostly you're in my head . Always . And . I dont want . To know whether you can stay or not . Cause not living the moment now is the act of lamenting ones fate . And I dont wish . To tempt that fate . Into knowing you're going away .

Cause I realized I cant live without you .

Perfection .

Ah . As of now . Everything is perfect . Except for the minor irritation in the form of final exams and the incarnation of pure evil . But other than that . I have nothing else to say about whats to not like about my life .

Partly because of her =D . Actually mostly . But I dont feel that I'm doing enough . But she thinks its more than enough . So I'll just stop there cause thats what she wants xD . I can do alot more actually . But she dosent want me to . Haha .

I want your scent . And your eyes . And your smile . Your lips and neck . Your breath in my ear . The glint in your pupils . The warmth of your touch . The sound of your breathing . The perfection of your existence .



I suck don't I =D .