Gods Fool.

woo! xD. i wrote thiis during chem2. i had too much time. this is dedicated for my FWEN. lauren sien. :p.
lucas.


Gods Fool.

Listen ring-bearers of old,
as I speak of,
legends of the Elder Gods,
perilous and bold.

Destiny, time and fate.
Uncertainty, crime and faith.
Oh, these Gods fooled me once,
making me precieve,
that thier complex rituals,
sophisticated tasks,
beguiled thier beliefs.

It was sadness they resided in,
depression they depended upon,
anger they indulged on.

For becoming a god,
is like heralding the verses,
of the Black Chapters itself,
the screams of the meek,
cries of the innocent.

In my regret,
I had forged myself a path,
a path of hate and rage,
of endless threat.

In my regret,
I had learned Destiny's ways,
studied its secrets,
secrets as black as jet.

I have learned,
the error in my ways,
yearning for things,
only selfishness could bring,
only hunger could fill,
thirst could quench.

But despite the regrets,
of millenia in amplification,
I cannot return,
to what I was before.

For exposure to truth,
was a point of no return,
a malfunction to the time machine,
a dissipation of tomorrow,
I had to pay now.

For sins I didn't commit,
for crimes I didn't enact,
merely guilt that cannot be contained,
the sadness of the Gods,
whose fires can never be put out.

I had to pay,
by stepping down from myself,
abandoning my knowledge,
deserting my solitude,
embracing my curse.

For those who comprehend,
the thoughts of the Great Beyond,
and those who give in,
to the darkness it forges,
are bound to be puppets,
mannequins of invisible destinies.

It was the ultimate price to pay,
as with the ultimate crime to commit,
annihalating guilt with guilt,
exterminating souls with souls,
murdering Gods with Gods.

Bloodwrath and mad rage,
consume deserters, traitors,
as the Elder Gods called them.
But who are the real traitors?
Embodiments of orderly chaos,
or the conciousness of guilt?
The answer is self-explanatory,
like moonlight dancing,
above stagnant water.

Children of the Night,
honour-bound to serve,
the Zenith's invisible purpose.

I had to murder,
closest friends,
best mentors,
in exchange for what I've done.

Bloodwrath, they called it.
A crimson scarlet one would see.
A burning rage one would feel.
A regretful death one would cause.

But it was my fault at first,
gently ascending,
to the City of Clouds,
then descending, on paths so steep,
straight to guilt's punishment.

But what could I have done?
To stop myself,
would be like stopping a Typhoon.
I had to know.
The burning hunger to understand,
secrets of the Great Beyond.
It dragged me to it,
like moth to flame.

Who would understand,
the guilt of the Gods?
No one will.

The pain of thoughts,
impaling vessels of souls.
The regret of subconcious,
sparking conflict of mind.
The guilt of intent,
murdering spirit of heart.

In everyday's eternity,
I forsee darkness,
a blackness which envolopes worlds,
a shadow that blocks life.
Isn't this darkness brought,
by the servants of time itself?
Isn't this evil discovered,
by me?

Then I am predicting,
a doom of my own,
death of my subconcious,
injury to my ethereality.
A doom that I myself caused.
A suicide.

The verses of the Black Chapters,
tear at me,
words of the Book of the Dead,
claw at me.
They herald within me,
against my will,
making me feel like,
my life isn't worth living anymore.

But I had to go on,
for a God has no life,
no death.

A God can't live nor die,
death to them,
is death of mind,
there is no war of physicality,
between Gods,
merely wars of conciousness.

if so,
then living is a curse,
death is a blessing.

But how could one,
who has seen the light,
who has killed billions,
who is a God,
who is I,
die?

I have traversed this journey,
countless of times,
walked down this road of reasoning,
endlessly.

But everytime,
this roadblock,
prevention of intervention,
the block of mind,
halts me from thinking further.

It is at this point,
where I do not care to think anymore.
For possibilities are limited,
opputurnities are fewer,
preffebility are all but none.

My options are only two,
like Siruis in the night,
like Lovebirds in flight.

To kill a million innocent,
or to murder a single friend.

Friends whom I remember,
since the early days,
of my still-pure childhood,
friends I still have,
in the tainted world I have came to know.

Friends whom I see in my dreams.
Friends whom I see in my nightmares.

Friends whose blood,
are on my hands.

What would one chose,
if one had to?
What would one prefer,
if one had to choose?
What would one do,
if Destiny forced them to?

Such is the existence of Destiny,
whose life is suffering,
whose suffering can never end,
whose death will never come.

Destiny, time and fate.
Uncertainty, crime and faith.
Oh, these Gods fooled me once.

Will they fool me again?




for lauren! :D.
lucas. xD.